Obese Salmon Unable To Swim Upstream To Spawn

Nov. 14, 2013, The Onion
http://www.theonion.com/articles/obese-salmon-unable-to-swim-upstream-to-spawn,30373/

After seven years of hard work, a chinook salmon gave up on swimming upwards to reproduce with other male salmon. The reason for this is quite unusual. The salmon was too obese to swim against the current in order to get to the place where it needed to spawn. Even though the currents were relatively weak at this specific spot, it still could not manage to swim against it because of its obesity. The salmon quoted, "But now I'm so fat I can't even leap out of the water to overcome a natural obstacle. And when I  try, my fins are super sore for a couple days." This quote shows the frustration the poor fish is going through just to do its daily routine. Years of late-night snacking have made the fish what it is today."What kind of salmon gets stuck in rapids, for God's sake? A fat one, apparently. A big, fat, ugly salmon."It is clear that the situation of the salmon has not only affected its physical being but also its mental being. The salmon's appearance has deflated his self-confidence and self-esteem as well.